Does it Take One to Raise One?
The other day I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show, while driving to work, and the strawberry letter was read. I’m not going to go into detail about the strawberry letter, but while Steve was giving his commentary on the letter, he made a comment saying that it takes a man to teach a boy how to be, act, and be responsible like a man. He was attempting to make a point that women, not matter how hard they try, cannot teach a young boy how to be a man. His rational for this was that young boys need a man (father or father like figure) in their life to emulate, in order to understand the true meaning of being a man. This got me thinking a lot about myself as well as a lot of other brothers that grew up in single parent households where the mother was the sole provider and disciplinarian. Have we somehow been deprived the teaching of becoming a man since we were raised by our mothers and how has this affected us during our adult years?
First off I have to give praise to my mother, because she raised me to the best of her ability and I think I turned out to be okay. Don’t get me wrong, I think I still have a long ways to go, but everything in life is a continuous work in progress.
To get back to my point, I wonder how not having a father figure constant throughout my adolescence has affected me during my adult years. Has it affected me in a negative way that my continuous growth into manhood has been some way stunted? Has my lack of a father in my life affected my views on marriage and raising kids? I’ve always wondered if I have a good reference point for being a good husband or father. Does it really take a man to teach boy how to be a man?
Posts
2 comments:
This is something that I would talk to my brother about and now my wife and several friends. It is very important for young boys to grow up in a house hold with not only a mother but also their father. This is has been understood by many cultures. In Africa boys were once taught key issues at a particular age. This was part of a boy’s journey to becoming a man. The slave owners realized this and that is why they had to break up the black home. The physical slavery could only last but for so long.
The feminine energy is one that nurtures and soothes. It feeds the family. The masculine energy sets boundaries and it tells you what to stand up for and how. Having both parents in the house also gives us an example of how good relationships work. That is in good and bad times. The lack of the father figure has got boys looking for a replacement. Most of them have found these in rap stars and gangs.
I truly do love my mother and I know that she did her best to supply the things that my brother and I needed to be successful but I do see the dangers of the missing father. The father is responsible for the guidance and direction of the family and families collectively guild the community. When that father is gone it leaves a gaping hole with no one at the helm that anyone can and will come and take control. That outside force more than likely will not have the family or communities interest at heart. This is why I think the black family and community have stagnated. Because the black father has disappeared and young black boys no longer know how to be grown responsible and productive men.
SORRY OR THE LENGTH...
I am loathe to say no, especially coming from Steve "black women should find an older man" Harvey. My brother and I were raised by our mother and I don't feel any less a man, nor do I act it. Nothing is as cut and dry as Harvey makes it out to be, his direction is often biased and flawed so I would not take his word on anything. He truly needs to tell jokes and stop trying to be a voice of reason in the black community.
Post a Comment